Vampire Cage Matches!! Guest Post (and giveaway) by Christopher Farnsworth!!

Today I have the pleasure of hosting Christopher Farnsworth, author of Blood Oath and The President's Vampire. I have to say, this post rocks...I LOVE the cage matches between all our favorite vampires and I think you will enjoy reading this one too!! Christopher has also kindly offered an awesome giveaway for one lucky reader...the winner will get a copy of his new book, The President's Vampire, a PV T-shirt, and a $25 Amazon gift certificate! Stick around after the post for details on how to win.


And now dear readers, meet Christopher Farnsworth....

For such a peaceful looking bunch of book lovers, I’ve discovered that fans of vampire fiction really are quite bloodthirsty.

This was slammed home to me when I was at Russo’s Books for a signing of my first novel BLOOD OATH. A kind, soft-spoken woman asked me to sign her copy. She said she had some problems with the beginning. She looked so sweet and demure that I began apologizing for all the blood and gore when my vampire, Nathaniel Cade, dismembers a bunch of werewolves.

She looked at me like I’d been dropped on my head a lot. “No, that was fine,” she said. “I thought it got a little too slow after that. I could have used more violence.”

I signed her book and promised to do better in the sequel.

You’ll have to judge for yourself whether THE PRESIDENT’S VAMPIRE -- available everywhere now – is more violent and bloody than the first book. (I did my best.) But in the meantime, I’m offering these cage matches between famous vampires. Hopefully, that will tide you over until you can get your next fix of supernatural mayhem.

(To avoid charges of bias, I’m keeping Cade out of the running.)

Match One:
Eric Northman (“True Blood”)
vs.

Edward Cullen (Twilight)

Though both have an eye for younger women (by a couple centuries), Northman was killing people and werewolves with axes even before he was a vampire. Edward, on the other hand, tends to hang around high schools looking moody. It’s a Viking vs. that guy who’d buy beer for you on a Friday night. This wouldn’t even be close.

Match Two:
Angel (“Buffy The Vampire Slayer,”“Angel”)
Vs.
Lestat (The Vampire Chronicles)

While both Angel and Lestat have an impressive capacity for angst and for being in the right place at the wrong time, Lestat, after Queen of the Damned, could fly intercontinental distances in mere moments and appeared pretty much invulnerable. On the other hand, Angel was last seen fighting a dragon, so his sheer stubbornness might enable him to hang in there. Depending on the venue, I give this one to Lestat, but only if he doesn’t succumb to ennui and allow Angel to stake him out of boredom.

Match Three:
Count Dracula (Dracula)
Vs.
Spike (“Buffy The Vampire Slayer,” “Angel”)

And they’ve stepped into the ring and... Wow. That was quick. Dracula, Lord of the Undead removed Spike’s head from his shoulders and is now wiping peroxide-tinted dust off his hands. Um... We’ve got another hour of air-time to fill... So... Let’s look at that again in slow-motion.

Match Four:
Bill Compton (“True Blood”)
Vs.
Kurt Barlow (Salem’s Lot)

Bill mourns his lost humanity. He’s got a crush on a blonde waitress. And he’s been known to show incredibly bad judgment multiple times. Meanwhile, Kurt Barlow is incredibly old, can fly and even scares the bejesus out of priests. But I wouldn’t count Bill out. He’s a lot craftier than that Southern-fried accent would imply. Barlow tends to go for the familiar vampire tricks: hunting at night, turning the populace, etc. If he put his mind to it, Bill might do something as clever as bury Barlow under a few tons of wet cement.

Match Five:
Selene (Underworld)
Vs.
Janos Ferenczy (The Necroscope Series)

Ferenczy is a shape-shifting necromancer with enormous force of will and malevolence. On the other hand, Selene has guns. Big ones. I imagine that once Ferenczy realized he couldn’t order Selene around because she’s a mere female, he’d be getting a faceful of high-velocity ammunition, blowing him into so many writhing pseudopods of goo.


Of course, the most important thing to remember in all of these battles is that no matter who wins, it’s going to take their attention away from their relentless lust for human blood momentarily. At the very least, we can use that distraction for a few minutes’ head start.


Christopher Farnsworth is the author of THE PRESIDENT’S VAMPIRE, available wherever books are sold. Learn more at presidentsvampire.com

Ok guys, to enter the giveaway, leave a comment with YOUR idea for a vampire cage match and who you think would win. Feel free to use the vamps mentioned here or your own favorites. Last day to enter is Friday, May 13th. Winner will be announced on Saturday. Open to US residents 13 and older. Good luck, can't wait to read your match-ups!